I’m glad I aired out what I felt to people around me. You know what? I think I’m just not that material to go after things like I do. I grew up thinking I was invincible. Boy was I wrong haha. It’s hard. And I have to be honest with myself. I do time to time get depressed and take things really hard. And I don’t think it’s a great to have these characteristics doing really challenging and high pressure things. I have to be real with myself. Do I really want to make myself miserable and try to achieve jobs with high status and recognition? It affects me outside as much as the inside. Honestly I just want to make the most of the time I have here. I’ll work hard for income that doesn’t require thinking. And just develop relationships around me. Isn’t that what life is all about? I hate having to feel stressed and go through emotional up and downs. And I mean really rough emotional up and downs. Will I have to make changes to way I spend and the way I think about making things yes. But that I can handle. With all the things I’m going to stress about I’ll deal with it then. I’ll always save for a rainy day. I just want to be able to be happy, eat, be great with the relationships around me, and just keep doing it. To do life with things I’m good at  the best I can. 

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