I’m on meds now for my anxiety and depression. More so for my anxiety. Am I crazy for not giving up? I just don’t want fear to invade me. Because once it does it invades all of me. And I just want to experience the world and give myself at least that one try. And I’m still looking for that solution. Still putting myself out there. haha what is wrong with me? It’s like I don’t know how to give up. Is that so bad that I want to try work with my anxiety and not let it cripple me? Is that so bad? One way I knew I wasn’t introverted and that I knew anxiety was the issue was when I became extroverted. I always as a kid used to dream about being popular in highschool. And I was in elementary. I liked the connections. I like getting to know people. I liked to share experiences. Because that’s what I believed life was about. It made me feel alive. And it still does. But I have this thing called anxiety that blocks my way. And yes it could be caused by the way I think. But I also know what makes me really happy as well. And I’m stopping myself from having it because of my anxiety. I’m not saying  I need to have people in my life to be happy. I can be happy on my own. But I do know it is something I enjoy. And there are alot of things I enjoy but I’m stopping myself from going there. And to be honest that makes me sad. So am I trying to work on my intense emotions? Yeah. I have to at least give myself the best try. If only you knew how intense my emotions are like.

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