Well I’ve been surviving LOL and honestly I’m pretty fucking proud of myself. I’ve been fucking up my way there and it’s ok. I’ve never felt so free doing something. It honestly feels nice to not be scared, to not wonder what if, and have your confidence back. But you won’t ever see me bragging Infront of these people just cause I like to stay low key and let people underestimate me. I like not having that pressure to be the best to their standards. Because trust me I always give my all whether or not you ask for it. But truth is I’m extremely hard on myself which is why I hate giving people expectations of me. I like having that chance to fuck up and get it. I realized I don’t like to be rigid in rules. I like being able to figure it out even if it is at the expense of you guys. People wonder why I come early and stay late. I do that because I want to learn to finish things off not for the money. Yes initially I took this job because I needed money and wanted more pay but I also chose this job because I refused to give up. I absolutely sucked at this job but I wasn’t willing to give up on me. On what I know I can learn and be. I just want to be the better version of me everyday. I went through hell and cried like a bitch. But I learned a good lesson through it and honestly I’m pretty proud of myself. To do things I was once paralyzed in feels great no matter how much my body and mind resisted before. It feels nice to be able to do something I once thought I couldn’t. 

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