I don’t know if I’m being over-sensitive or just thinking too much about things that shouldn’t even matter. But when I start over thinking I get all sensitive to people. Even if they don’t say anything. It’s like I just feel and know what someone is saying or thinking or feeling about me. Yes intuition sucks as much as it is a good thing. I don’t know I’m just feeling overly sensitive lately and yes I am fabricating things in my mind of what I think people are feeling saying and thinking about me. I can’t help it. I’ve done that for a long time. I don ‘t feel bad that I do this and I don’t blame myself for it. I did it for so long that it is natural to me. And changes in the way I do things take time. But I’ve just been feeling I’ve been assuming and which I have. Because I don ‘t know if its true because there is no evidence. But that one moment that it does become true I know I’ll be so hurt and just feel like yeah I knew it all along. And you know what? That’s my fucked up mentality LOL.. the thing is my assumptions right now may not even been real but I’m going to lead it to happen or basically wait for the moment that someone says something to make my negative thought right. And that is fucked up that I do that. It’s silly for me to take so long to realize that. And maybe being introspective too much is as much as a bad thing as it is a good thing. You gotta know when to stop. Let go. And remind yourself of who you really are. Not this stupid shit and getting caught up in feelings that are make believe. Yes I do think my feelings are very important and I realize that. That to not ignore them or hide them. But to just feel it doesn’t mean I have to act on it. But allow myself to feel it. And for all the feelings I get caught up on, I’ll let it happen and keep on letting it happen til I decide I’m ready to let go and if I will. I realize that’s the best way for me to handle me. And for all those times I want to be a bitch to someone or ignore someone or just not talking to them or caring and just thinking too much about it. I dont know when I’ll let go of that feeling but I’m not forcing it. Yeah I go back and forth about what I want and sometimes when what I came there for gets confused I let my sensitive self feel like other issues are just as important. And its not. I didn’t even try in the beginning so I can’t even be mad at myself for that. My c was right.. focus on one thing at a time. Don’t go crazy trying to handle multiple things that are well difficult or new for you.. even if that includes starting over and over again. Don’t sweat the small stuff and the small minded. Don’t get yourself confused with other people who are meant to be passing by and well just aren’t thinking the way you are. I am human at the end of the day and there are moments that I’m vulnerable and want to compare myself to my peers. I can tell you its quite hard to want to only stick on your path and feel no need to compare. But I’m still learning and that’s okay. And maybe I’ll keep learning forever. But I can’t compare myself to my peers and assume that they are perfect because all I see are their good sides and wondering why I’m not the same. That’s going to take some time. And if whatever it is true, so be it. I have people in my life that truly care for me and all my bad and good sides so who is that person to me? Nothing. I think just in future references.. I don’t have to act on my anger but if it really does reach a breaking point and I must mean a real breaking point I’ll say something. Because yes I do realize I can be very sensitive and that’s not a flaw. I’ll work with what god gave me.

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