So I got news back.. about something I was so devastated about the possibility. I don’t have it but I have something else. And it’s triggered by stress. I wonder why it happened? haha If you have been reading a few weeks ago not long ago I put myself under alot of stress and I’m going to admit I probably created alot of it in my head. I want to find a solution I do. But I realize NOONE TALKS ABOUT THIS LOL. Why don’t we learn these crucial things in school? Anyways…. it can get really bad if I don’t take care of it. And it has a lot to deal with stress. I don’t know if this is God’s way of throwing things at me so then I will really look at what’s the right thing to do instead of being stubborn doing the wrong thing. That he had to give me something so dramatic to make me realize to do something about it instead of ignoring it. I don’t know. I really don’t. In my mind, that whole process that I did a few weeks ago, I know I can’t do that or be like that for the rest of my life. That I really know in my heart. It’s not pleasant NOR was it productive. I need to work smarter.. not harder. And minimize stress. ALOT of it. Honestly at the moment, I heard the news I was happy it wasn’t what could possibly be the worst case scenario but neither was I estatic that it was positive for something else. I don’t want to think about shit like anymore LOL. For real. I’m not even kidding shit just keeps getting thrown at me. And its not even situations its my health. What can I do about that? It’s not something I can ignore and leave til later. I still have dreams and goals and the person I aspire to be. Stress is going to be there. And stress can cause an it to possibly happen again. So what’s a girl suppose to do? Man I swear I always get questions that noone can answer. And they are always hard ones. I need to learn to simplify things. Make it not complicated and roll with the punches and just do my best. Find the best solution if something isn’t working. Find out what I need to find out. Decrease the stress when I know its coming. Man if I succeed seriously I’m giving myself a fucking grammy.

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