update so far in my life. Honestly at this very moment I do feel lost. I did pick myself up faster and I didn’t let myself get into the path to depression which is really good for me. I’m looking at my life and one thing that is very clear for me is what I do want. I want to feel alive in everything I do. In my job, relationships, social life, work life, family life, everything. Right now I feel like I’m just watching the days go by because I don’t want to deal with uncomfortable feelings. But that’s not doing me any good. I could sit on these feelings for a week or maybe two but what does that do? Absolutely nothing. I want to and have to keep moving forward. I really do feel when I write about the situations the solutions come a lot easier than me just thinking about them. I trust me and I trust the process. And it is time to make a decision about what I am going to do no matter how unsettling I feel, situation I’m in or whatever because it’s true I am never going to be at that moment where I feel ready or am ready. I gotta just go and do it and learn. I’m not going to go against my feelings, thoughts anymore, I am going to be a lot kinder and watch my self talk. I’m not going to be a pushover but I’m going to accept and not push against what Ido say because at the end of the day I am not my feelings nor my thoughts. Just because I said it or feel it doesn’t mean it’s true. My perception to reality isn’t true either. So I might as well use it to my advantage to see what I really want to see. What I need to do is listen truly to my heart. It’ll lead the way. I know it will. 

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