I realize not everyone is doing what I am doing. I have to learn to stop comparing. I do it subconsciously but I’m aware of it now. And that’s a big step already. Not everyone is where I am at right now. And even if they are some aren’t even willing to change. I know its hard I’ve been through it and thrown right out of it flat on my face. I really do think this is the process. Getting thrown flat on my face and just picking  myself back up and up again no matter how bruised my ego is. No matter how much my inner critic is going to try to hurt me. I have to learn to work with it. And I will. I’ve never been a person that’s too ashamed to ask for help especially in places where its super personal to me. If I need the help, you bet I will ask. I’m working on myself. And I don’t think anyone really knows where they are going to be and what they want to be at 22. Sometimes I still wonder if I’m taking shit too seriously. And maybe I am. But I want change. I just want to be great. Even if that is something I don’t even know of yet. Or what career or what I’m going to do. I just want to be great. Maybe things won’t work getout as I planned but I just have to keep moving forward. And keep going on what’s next. To keep trying, to keep being foolish, to keep being stupidly optimistic, to keep modeling, to keep moving forward, to keep trusting myself. I’ve been reading and finishing alot of books lately. It’s giving me alot of questions but also alot of possibilities of what can be. And the advice just when I needed it. Funny that I can’t seem to get this advice from people but I can get it from a book from someone who has gone through what I’m going through and kept trying. It felt real, honest, and true. And that is advice I trust.

Advertisements