I feel better today. I’m hesitating less. Saying the word “I don’t care” is like death to me. Once you hit the “I don’t care” moment, realize that you lose. That moment when you just don’t give a fuck rubs off of EVERYTHING. You start not giving a fuck about how to do things, you fuck the correct way of doing things, and guess what? Everything fucks up and you got to fix it. Not only that you aren’t interested in fixing it LOL. So start caring. Hate something? Move and go find something you enjoy and challenge yourself. That’s a sign you’re in the wrong place. Things have been going a little too smooth.. like I’m waiting for the next moment that’s going to make me cry LOL. It don’t feel right to be safe haha. I realize I need to really honestly really TRUST myself. It doesn’t even matter if you are unsure of what the fuck you’re doing, if you don’t trust yourself you automatically lose. Because your self-esteem plummets, negative thinking shoots up, you believe the worst scenarios going to happen and usually it does. Everything just feels like its going wrong. That’s what the fuck happens. But honestly it feels good when you got you. Like you maybe unsure but when you’re confident and BELIEVE you can do it you’ll figure it out. I just got to trust that I always will or I’ll find a way. Saying one thing is easy. Doing it is another. I realized through working and I guess just becoming older, I feel like I don’t work for the money. I work for the learning experience. Money means nothing to me. It has no value on its own. Yeah it definitely helps with bringing my dreams come true but it itself means nothing. I’ll always work to invest in myself and bring my dreams to life but I won’t ever just work to accumulate money and just possessions. I realize I need meaning in my life. I want to work by listening to my heart.

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