I honestly truly do feel blessed and grateful haha. It’s funny because I think I never really felt like this before. To just feel grateful for the things you have right now. I used to be so obsessed with things that I just consider irrelevant to me now. What’s that saying again? That saying that you become who you hang out with like the 5 people you hang out with the most. I really did become shit LOL. Honestly it is so hard to be so aware at that moment that you have become one of them and its partially because you won’t let yourself believe that you are like them that you think you’re better than that but it doesn’t matter. If you hang out with them long enough your personality changes, your habits change, the way you talk changes, the things you talk about changes. I was just straight in denial. But I am glad I got out of that circle. I think subconsciously I knew exactly what I wanted to do but my mind wouldn’t let me. But subconsciously .. I was doing things to get myself out of there.

But yeah.. honestly I really do feel grateful for the people I have around me. I really do. I mean who can say they genuinely have 6 best friends that they literally grew up from since they were babies. That tell eachother everything, want the best for you, can talk about the stupidest shit forever, laugh about anything, fight and cry and laugh together, and be there for each other no matter what you are doing, that know how each other feel no matter what they say, that knows EVERYTHING and all of you that they can predict everything you do, that know eachother’s family like their own, that will literally do ANYTHING for you. And were still going strong haha. And not only that I’ve met even more people who are becoming close enough and comparable to my best friends. I do really feel I hit the jackpot with my friends. I couldn’t have asked for better friends.

Another I realized from reading my previous posts… LOL…. is that I overreact ALOT. I get so angry at the little things sometimes.. or if something just sets me off. And once I’m set off I’m just like mad at the whole world. I realize that I am overreacting. Cause once I give it time and I bite my tongue I realize the people at my workplace are not bad at all. I do still think one is disrespectful even though she hasn’t been disrespect lately and has been nice but to one of our coworkers she really is. Like I want to tell her but I need her help cause I’m still training. Because honestly I think it is so rude someone is just asking you a question because they want to be sure. She doesn’t want to mess up. And accuracy is key in this job. But shes like so degrading to her.. lol and I want to say something to her but its like idk if i should keep that to myself and not stir up things. Yeah I know I am being kind of selfish by not saying anything because I’m caring about my position in the job. I do feel bad. Cause I hate it when people treat other people like that. But I promise myself that I WILL NEVER NEVER be a person like that if I become a boss. I just would hate myself. I don’t think you need to be a condescending asshole to get your point across. People work because they’re trying to survive and have kids to feed you know. There’s no need to make their life miserable so you can stroke your ego and think your better than someone else or looking down on someone.

But yeah I got to keep motivated!!! LOL I got a second job and honestly I am so fucking  excited!!! I’ve always wanted to work there and I finally am. I definitely am still going to bust my fucking ass off for both my jobs and not slack. I don’t want to be lazy anymore. I just want to hustle. Push my limits and see how far I can really go. And keep trying no matter how many times I fail. I’ll keep studying, memorizing, understanding, bettering myself everyday because like I said, I look at this as an investment to myself. Every job anyone does will have a benefit to you. ALWAYS. No matter how stupid that job was. It will make you excel in things and things you didn’t even know of. Take the job as an advantage. And if you feel like you were already at the top at the job MOVE ON. Keep going up. Keep the momentum. I don’t want to ever lose this motivation and inner drive I have because I was missing it for a long time and its nice to honestly have it back again. That’s all the push I needed to get my life together again and the things I want and the things I attract.

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