I feel a little more relaxed today however I want to keep my mind motivated. It’s a little hard because I have to consciously think to do this and do that and remember. Some things that may be easily remembered and done by someone else is hard for me. It always has been and I recognize and am aware of that in myself which why I try so hard to focus and improve. But I’m going to keep trying no matter HOW TIRED I AM. I can sleep when I die LOL.

My goal for tomorrow to ace what I do:
To answer it professionally and knowledgeably
To know what I am doing without having to ask someone else (general)
To do r fast and accurate
To do SH,M, N accurate
To speak up when I need to
To be confident in myself

Honestly working here has made me realize a couple things. And another thing with working with mostly women. Everyone is says one thing but totally means another. What I mean by that is these women have some fucking animosity against eachother. And it is SO BAD. LOL. Like they fake like they’re nice with eachother but you can totally tell someone annoys someone else or someone else is offended. I just laugh in my head because honestly it really is every woman for herself. They have always told me there is no loyalty in the company and I get it now. I hate the fact that as women we have to act this way but you know what I tried. And maybe I get to emotionally attached to relationships from the beginning and care about how my coworkers feel but I realize none of these fucking bitches GIVE A SHIT. And that’s sad but that’s the truth. I will mind my own business and I will kill em with kindness because I know making enemies early brings absolutely no gain and not only that it makes me lose my focus. I have to not take shit personal. It absolutely sucks that the real world can be this selfish and I really wish it wasn’t but I guess these women have reasons for what they do I’m sure they’re as stressed about not having to lose the job and they have kids to feed and everything. And honestly if I look at it from their perspective I understand. Once again, I have to keep me happy, me efficient, and I’ll definitely be minding my own business because I ain’t letting anybody fuck with my energy and goals.

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