I’m legit working my fucking ass off. And I still don’t even feel like I’m working enough. It’s like I don’t have enough hours that I’m losing sleep just to salvage more time to work on things. Nothing has ever been easy for me. But I’m not giving up for shit. I may be a zombie at home but I have to be laser focused at work. Oh and I forgot to mention I just got hired for a second job! haha It’s actually the one I really wanted to be at but I am so fucking tired. I want to be AMAZING at what I do. AND efficient AND organized AND quick. I really need more energy but I don’t even know how to increase that. I legit can’t even stay up late anymore otherwise I’ll be dead the next day. And any off day is a bad for me there. It’s a place where they don’t tolerate mistakes AT ALL. I need to be on my shit. I just want to sleep…… LOL. I missss you sooooo much. I just have to keep reminding myself I DO THIS for me. For my future. My investment and just fucking suck it up. It’s true though once you get to a level where you try your best always and decide to never be unpurposeful again you don’t want to go back you just want to keep going up and up. And never stop. I may hate this shit right now but I know exactly why I am doing what I am doing. And that’s all I need.

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