Is it weird that since I’ve distanced myself from people I didn’t really care about to begin with make me happier? I don’t think I’ll ever forget how depressed I got because I cared so much about what other people thought of me. It reminds me that yeah.. your thoughts can be so powerful. Like legit… looking back I can’t believe I got myself in such a deep hole. And its actually fucking hard to crawl your way out which I thought was going to be easy but its not. Feelings are seriously stronger than I ever thought they could be. But I experienced it and I have no regrets because you know what ONE DAY.. LOL I will hit my mid-life crisis and I’ll know to never let myself think that way again because I’ve been through it and there is absolutely NO BENEFIT. At all. No wants to do something for nothing and I’m likewise. I don’t know I just feel really optimistic for some reason. And I’ve got my mojo back haha. I don’t even care how many times I’m going to fail or fucked up shit happen to me or hard times because some reason I feel really mentally prepared. Or maybe its just all the books I’m reading. Who knew I would be fucking reading? I didn’t even finish any book in my entire highschool and university schooling. Ever. But some reason these books I’m reading are so easy for me to read and finish in a matter of days. I honestly think I’ve found my passion and what I really want to do and how I’m going to get there. Like just working on things I love give me chills. Honestly it does and its like the weirdest thing. But I’m really motivated and I can actually not sleep and keep going. And its not like this motivating feeling lasted me a week or two its lasted me since the beginning of the year.

Honestly if I could give anyone advice.. I think the best advice would be to cut all the BS in your life. And everything starts falling into place in the weirdest and most coincidental ways.

Advertisements