I may still cry or be sensitive about it but I think I’ll be alright. I had a presentation I had to do in class. It had to be about a disease and my group decided to chose schizophrenia. I’m not going to say no. O is diagnosed with schizophrenia. You know when I was presenting I was so close to slip that O had it. Someone asked why we chose this illness and the first that popped in my head was that O had it but I couldn’t get it out of my mouth. It’s not that I don’t want to share. It’s just I think it’s O’s decision if he wants to people to know or not, not mine.
It was interesting to see how they reacted, a lot of them were frightened to be honest. I mean how the media portrays it is kind of sad. Alot of the cases are never that serious. It’s the 1% but of course anything that comes off as interesting has to be shocking. It use to hurt me alot of how other people would perceive him. Or I would worry about what he was going to do when he got older, how he was going to survive, how he was going to make friends, how he was going to tolerate stressful situations or rude people. I’m super over protective of him. I just can’t.. leave it alone. His friends, if they were a bad influence I made sure to bitch them out and that they weren’t influencing him, if people weren’t treating him right, I would give him advice on how to cope and I would say certain things back to them. If he needed advice on anything, I was there. But now when I hear peoples judgmental comments or if they were scared I realize they just don’t understand. I’ve learned that it doesn’t hurt me anymore.
I mean O has been the best I’ve ever seen him. Oh and trust me .. I went through some bullshit. But do I regret it? No. It’s helped him to be where he is now. I even forget sometimes if he has it or not and no one else can either. Of course I would never wish this upon anyone or on him especially but you never understand why God does what he does. I want people to know that they shouldn’t be afraid of what will happen, no matter how scary it may seem the first time, know its not them, and that with the right medication, right mindset, positivity, determination, and the right people they will become the person they once were before.
O’s living proof and I’m so proud.