I’m taking time to really look at my life. Hm.. what aspect do I feel at this moment I’m missing? I say genuine intrest in people, social life, love life, motivation for career, energy, fitness. I guess alot of things if I’m being honest at the moment. I’m not feeling not useful. I’m just feeling like I’m dead but living at this time being. Nothing interesting at the moment or exciting. My state of mind is “I know what I should do and I should do it now without thinking too much of it” but at the same time I know I’m very hard on myself. I never really give myself a break. I’m neglecting alot of things at the moment. I say i’m neglecting my family, friends even though I do hang out with them I’m just not as excited as before, definitely my fitness, and school at the moment because I feel worn out, oh and work I’m definitely ignoring relationships or rapport with my coworkers. Feeling insecure, feeling like i’m not sure of myself and what I’m doing but I know what i’m doing.. if that makes sense. Let’s just say I know i’m neglecting alot of things and I know I”m staying in my comfort zone which I know I shouldn’t.
At this time I am definitely learning toward a more internal focus which is probably why I’m neglecting alot of external focus because my main interest is internal. I would like to feel more balanced in all of my categories. I think a designated time for myself, I need designated time socializing, I need designated time to work, I need designated time to school. I would like all to be balanced; but have fun and serious moments with all too.
3. Set goals
INTERNAL (mind, health, heart)
challenge yourself intellectually about life – once a week – let’s say Sunday evening
creating opportunities for your mind to rest – once a week – Sunday evening after challenging yourself
giving love (like doing something out of your way that someone will appreciate) – 3x a week at start – friday,saturday, and sunday
receiving love (taking a compliment or letting someone do something nice for you; thank them) – 3x a week at start – friday, saturday, sunday
eating, drinking, exercising properly – 3x a week – friday, sunday, monday
resting-treating yourself to some extra yummies – once a week – sunday
EXTERNAL (work, social, family, fun)
pushing yourself to achieve goals – 5x a week – sunday, monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday
seeing the bigger picture and enjoying the ride- friday, saturday
satisfying your social desires – tues, friday, saturday, sunday
taking time for youself- once a week – sunday evening
fulfilling your familial responsibilities – once a week – sunday mornings
creating healthy boundaries (spending time at home with family) – once a week (for an hour/2) – sunday night
allocating time for things you enjoy doing – 3x a week – tuesday evening, wednesday evening, friday night, saturday night, sunday afternoon (for 3 hours)
-going out to eat + drinks
-working out + getting skinny
-chilling, hanging out, socializing
-active things, sports, games
-meeting new people
making sure you don’t overdo it – once a week – sunday evening
4. Plan tasks
Did it already on a weekly basis
I have tried to plan my tasks but I never followed through more than a week or so. This time I will follow percisely. At least for a month
The most important thing I’ve accomplished in the past.. I say it should be my education to get to where I am right now. However the biggest barrier I had was being socially confident and a good conversationalist. From barely talking to anyone and awkward moments to people I never thought I would be so comfortable with comfortable with. It gave me more confidence in all my other aspects in my life. I stayed focus on this goal because I focused on how my my life was then. I was unmotivated, unhappy, antisocial, miserable, felt like I was dead but living. I focused on that life I had and told myself if I kept going no matter how much I resisted that if I pushed through constantly my life would be different.. and it happened. I handled my fears, doubts, anxieties, worries, and negative self talk by.. letting myself be afraid and worry about those things. I’m not going to lie alcohol played a big role in helping getting rid of that little voice in my head that was so negative. I was afraid without it at times because i thought it would be awkward again. But what I realized is it that gave me confidence even without the alcohol because I was so used to being in that energy already that it was unconsciously making me social without the alcohol. Everytime I had a doubt, a fear, an anxiety, a worry or negative self talk I would tell myself to cut it out before it even began. Tell myself not to expect anything but be excited and in the moment and that I love being around people. I repeated it until it was engraved my head just in case I acted with my subconscious. It felt amazing, grateful, so happy to know that I could accomplish something that I never thought I could and people liked me for it. I felt like a new energy like people were happy to see me and I was happy to see them.
Alot of things keep me from sticking to my plan. That is why I’m writing this to begin with. One goal I wanted. Was friends I befriended. A circle where I hung out with people I tried with, whether I met them from someone else or school or work. I never follow the plans through. One thing that kept stopping me I guess.. was that first I was afraid of rejection and how it would affect my self-esteem. Two I thought they wouldn’t have fun with me because we would have nothing to talk about it or its awkward or I don’t bring enough to the table. Three, I felt insecure if they had more friends than I did and it made me uncomfortable when I thought they were better than me so it made me insecure and act cold. It was basically negative self talk. Another goal I wanted was to get fit but the things that were stopping me where I wanted to eat all the junk food, and go out to eat and order food but i didn’t want to seem like I’m on a diet because i guess i cared what they thought of me. Or i would procrastinate and say I’ll eat like this today but workout hard tomorrow but never happens. Another goal would be trying to focus and use my time efficently and wisely when studying instead of spending hours and hours of procrastination or half-assed studying to get it done but instead start working and studying harder and shorter and smarter
remember to cut off the negative self talk before it begins, react within 3 seconds to what you want to do and desire, be okay with rejection, its okay if they don’t want to hang out with you at least you tried; don’t be desperate, that you can do it, the more practice you have the easier it gets, just have fun, go with the flow, follow your plans through every single one you make no matter how you feel, talk to someone first be genuinely interested in them first, plan things first, you are fun; get over it and its only awkward if you make it awkward, you bring enough to the table, learn how to drive, they may have more friends than you; may seem like they are better than you; but why are you competing with someone you should be thinking about how you are bettering yourself and how many can say they have as many bestfriends as you?
have a cheat day once a week – don’t go crazy though only one meal, trick your mind to not want to eat those things, make delicious healthy things, have fun working out, don’t ever justify having more than one cheat day
study productively, really focus, don’t think about anything else at the time you are learning, you are there to learn, the more time you focus right now the less time you have to study later.
a tactic i can use to keep myself supported, motivated, and focused in the hard times is.. Vi.T, D.R. Everytime I trip over insecurities or negative self talk I look at them and they remind me how to be again. To enjoy life. To do what I want. To have and allow people in my life. To fuck the insecurities and be social. Yeah there are times I like to be alone but noone likes to be alone all the time especially when you want somebody there. So I say I take the days where I can be social and leave once a week to myself so I never go to my shell for too long. These two are just so supportive. They show how life should be really lived. And reading a book by D.C. and following the principles.
a tactic i can use to keep myself supported, motivated, and focused in the hard times is..D.R., I use pinterest to show me pictures of girls with bodies I want, the food I have to eat, I look up plans to follow, like juicing cleanses, diets, and workout plans, and plans other people used to lose weight and follow them, buy smaller clothes so I have to fit into it by a certain time
i look at really successful people like L.G, M.C., B.C., E.M. they remind me of where I want to get to. I can’t forget A.R. either. He motivates me again. Just by one of this videos, or his books. I feel like I need to get going again and act and make it a must.
stick with this for 3 MONTHS and you will have new habitual patterns and create new ones and a more balanced life.