Okay fuck it can’t focus right now so i’m going to update you on my life. So two nights ago I went to two birthdays. I went to my close gf’s birthday for a few hours and spent time with her and then kicked it to my other girlfriends birthday. oh my god. there was no alcohol LOL.. people like were fighting for shots. This is the first time I’ve seen everyone so thirsty LOL… anyways when I was leaving the first club I bumped into one of the guys I met back a summer ago and he had a thing for me and tried to ask me out. He told me to go to his vip table but I was leaving already to go to the second birthday. Holy shit that club was so packed. The line for coatcheck was as long as the line up outside. Anyways as I was leaving to go to another club I met up with my close girlfriend who was saving a spot for me in line cause the line was huge even though we got a table. I went with her saying hi to everyone without noticing who was behind me until someone called out my name.. LOL. I turn around. And I see V and all his boys. I was like hey whats up and they were all bringing up that time like, when I was 17 I believe, of how they all 6-7 of them carried me out to go home because I got so drunk LOL… So embarrassing. And I`m like omg please stop I don`t want to remember and they were all laughing and I was bringing up how this other guy said he carried me because I bumped into him and they were like no it was us making fun of me -_____-. I got in the club and there was like no alcohol for the longest time that I started macking on other guys that were outside of vip table. Me and my girlfriend went to the bar and we were talking to these guys and I was telling them how my gf thinks hes cute totally lie. He was pretty hot tho LOL not gonna lie. He’s like I have girlfriend but he like kept talking to us and hes like honestly if I was single I would be all over your girlfriend. He’s like I can’t do anything because my girlfriend is right behind me LOL…. That girlfriend’s friend came up to me and asked me about him. and I’m like im being honest with you your boyfriend isn’t hitting on me the more asian looking guy was. And she was like oooooh. Honestly I was lying LOL I was just bullshitting. Yes I do feel bad that this girl’s boyfriend is talking to us but I’m not doing anything to him or making him hit on my girlfriend. Just because you said you have a girlfriend it doesn’t meant that you can still flirt and mack on us. Thats his problem. Gf’s gotta check their man. And even when he did try to hit on us we wouldn’t really reply in a flirty way well be like diverging the conversation. He ended up hooking me up with his asian friend that I do not rember how he looks like but he seemed pretty cute. Anyways after I talked to her the girlfriends friend I was like show me who his girlfriend is because I want to clarify to her that he didn’t hit on me. And I went up to her and she was so mad. She’s like if you want to talk to him talk to him blah blah blah . I’m like honestly he didn’t hit on me its the more asian looking one that was (let’s call him T). Like I don’t disrespect girls that have boyfriends and he straight up told me that he has a girlfriend. Like you don’t have to believe me but I’m telling you the truth. and her boyfriend comes up to me and goes like thank you. LOL i’m like your lucky i have your back. He’s like i did say I have a girlfriend. But I’m like but you said you would be all over my girlfriend if it wasn’t for your girl.. thats right behind you. LOL Apparently I made out with the asian guy and one of my other guy friends V (the one that made fun of me outside in line). I got a text from V the next morning saying i gave you a goodbye kiss… and …. I WANTED TO DIE. LOL. omg I swear. omg not only that a guy I hooked up with like in last year april (let’s call him B) was at my girlfriends birthday I swear. And he was staring at me but I didn’t want to say hi because I was with the asian guy T and I was like all over him. Fuck man I swear my city is small. And the worst part is that hes friends with my friend name H. And I don’t want H to think I’m slut because he probably thinks I am. I don’t know I Just like to prove guys wrong when they make an assumption of me without necessarily telling them I’m not. Because I know I’m not. I don’t go fucking around all the guys, in matter of fact, I haven’t fucked anyone yet. So when guys see me first impression they think I’m a hoe but I’m really not. Some reason I don’t get it. I don’t get why guys are so attracted to virgins. It’s ridicuolous. It’s like once they I’m not a slut or go around they like want to girlfriend me. I get it I come off as a really big flirt in the beginning and yeah I’ll probably make out with you and do shit with you but I never go anywhere close to giving a handjob, blowjob, or fucking you. I don’t do it just because I don’t want to be called a “slut.”  In a matter of fact I don’t even care if they call me a slut. I just don’t do those things with guys because it makes me feel dirty. It makes me feel like worthless, like I’m getting used. And I hate that feeling. I already felt like that from sleeping over at a guys house waking up and leaving his place. And seeing their text the morning it kind of disgusts me to be honest. Like this relationship is not going anywhere so I don’t even bother replying to them back. The only times I do is when I get drunk or I’m partying or I need some boys to buy us liqs or when I need some attention. Other than that I would never consider these types of guys. I just want to be able to actually lose it to someone I love or someone I really trust that I’m seeing. That knows my flaws. And ya there are times I just want to lose it just to get it over with and gain some experience, and master my skills LOL but .. I don’t think I could deal with the fact of people talking about me like that. So i’ll rather keep to myself until I find someone that likes me for me; without the makeup, without the extensions, without the tanner just me. I know people are probably thinking then don’t wear those things and dress that way. But I like to dress that way, that is who I am, so if you can’t accept me at my all then fuck it i don’t want you. 

 

xx

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