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On-going battle with my mood swings. I start searching up on google trying to figure out why I’m feeling this way and I end up finding the worst scenarios. Like how I can be possibly going through depression or a bipolar illness lol!! Like wth. LOL. Ya when you’re with yourself for too long on google you end up believing it. Don’t act like you never done it. I’m just going to the doctors this weekend to get it checked out. It feels really unhealthy for me to feel this way and I want to get out of this funk as quick as possible.

I went to a sale today with my girlfriend and her sister. And it was awkward… I felt like her sister was one of the typical snobby girls in my city. Like she wasn’t very approachable. And it was always the type of girls I felt intimidated by. I couldn’t even look her in the eyes. LOL sad I know. Just lately I’ve been feeling so insecure because I’m in a funk. Her intimidating me made me feel more awkward, that I wanted to impress her, wanted to sound cool, and sound popular. When I really think about it that is so SAD. It really is. I’ve known this girl for 5 mins and she could already make me feel this way and act this way. I should be acting the way I always do without caring and being intimidated by who you are. And I’m working on it and I know I can do it. I remember reading how you judge someone defines who you are as a person not who they are. Me judging her thinking she’s this and that is defining my own insecurities and self-confidence. It made me realize how weak I am in those categories. Me judging her sister has nothing to do with her it had to deal with me. And that’s a big thing to realize. I’m going to continue to positively motivate myself and not be affected by anything as little as this. And continue to let myself be myself even if someone isn’t feeling the way I want them to towards me. Either continue to try or just talk to someone else. And always get out of the funk before it happens. And only allow myself to be affected by somebody or be in a sour mood for a limited time which is only going to be 24 hours maximum and try again.  

 

xx

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