So I got out of my trip!! Felt really excited to not go. I had to make a little white lie to not go. Okay fine not a little white lie, a BIG lie. I had to make it believable. I even had to get people in on it and make sure my acting skills on are on par LOL. People don’t know how much work it is to lie sometimes. I don’t advocate lying but sometimes a girl’s got to do what shes got to do to get what she wants. My reason for not going? I just didn’t feel like it. Being around people I’m not that close to and possibly being stripped naked (as in makeup and my insecurites). I wasn’t comfortable being seen in a bikini, being seen without tanner, being seen without makeup. I wasn’t perfect in my eyes so I would have definitely been really vulnerable to them looking at me. It would have been fine if the guys weren’t as judgmental or cute LOL but they are. May sound stupid, but I know how I get around people when I feel really insecure. I become quiet, awkward, nothing to say, no confidence, won’t look you in the eye, won’t want to do any activities. I just didn’t want to do that on the trip. I want people to see me in my best light not my worst especially if I just met you recently. It’s a different story if you’re close. I like to have fun but sometimes its hard when I have the conscious mind of thinking too much. 

So ya I was happy I didn’t have to go. Don’t tell me there’s never been a time in your life where you cancelled plans that you didn’t want to have in the first place and succeeded and weren’t excited. Come on girls, I know you do it! haha

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