My emotions always go from the highest to the lowest in a matter of a few hours and I’ll be fine by the next morning. The simple things like how I feel a certain friend or friends treats me differently can make me upset. I realize when I feel insecure and unconfident these feelings just maximize. When I feel great I don’t even care about those little things so yeah I’m trying to not give a fuck. I’m trying to stop myself from even thinking about dumb things when I’m about to start it. I guess it’s true eh? You can be your worst enemy sometimes. Thinking too much is the culprit.

Being random. Does anyone have the feeling you feel when you should be doing something more than you’re doing right now when you’re young? When you don’t know the career you want, the friends you want, and the life you want? I feel like I’m getting tired of the partying I’ve been doing but I love socializing, drinking, and the boys too much hahaha. I’m partying and drinking every weekend but what am I really celebrating? LOL I’m suppose to go to Harrison this weekend but I don’t even feel like it. The fact is I feel like I don’t want to chill with these type of guys anymore it wasn’t as fun as it was when I was younger. They have it all but sometimes when I look at their life.. I think. I think they have all the money they want but I feel like all they want is to have light hearted fun and nothing else sometimes. I would love to have people that are surrounding me that are passionate about what they do, how they got there, who their in love with and why their in love with who they are, people with value, people to inspire me, make me laugh. But maybe I’m asking for too much? I shouldn’t ever have to ask for someone to be in my life to inspire me and make me better because I should be already doing that myself.  

I’m not saying these people aren’t great people. They are. I’ve never seen loyalty the way I do here. I’ve never seen true friends the way I do here. I’ve never seen the simplest things that make people happy the way I do here. But sometimes when you’ve outplayed everything you never done before and only done with these people you want something more. Everything done the first time and everything done that you shouldn’t do is always fun. Its fun because you shouldn’t be doing it or you’ve never done it before. But maybe there’s a reason why you shouldn’t do the things you shouldn’t be doing? It gets you no where. 


Just my thought of the day. Ill write back soon ! xox