I don’t want to get into a relationship because I’m still insecure about myself regarding looks (weight) and being without makeup around someone, i’m scared as coming off as boring, i’m scared of how they’ll see me treat my family that i’m kind of a bitch scratch that a bitch (trying to change it but I keep going back to my old ways), i’m scared of losing it to someone and feeling insecure about it and embarrassed about what not to do.
I realize how stupid I sound right now. And how dumb it comes across from what’s really stopping me.
I’m going to go out with no makeup around the guys I like when I need to and feel insecure and try not give a shit because either way they’re going to have to see me without makeup or not. I’m fuck it to care if people think I’m boring or not because when people actual get to know me they realize I’m not- and that I’m a loud, funny, cocky, considerate bitch. I’m going to try harder and harder to treat my family better even if I fall back on my old ways. Yeah I’m going to be scared about losing, embarrassed about it, and insecure about it but that really proves I’m a v and not a hoe. So I’m going to stop caring after this.