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So who remembers their first? I do. Let’s go back. Way back. Back when I was grade 10. His name is A. I met him at a party I crashed that I went with a girlfriend of mines. I didn’t know who the birthday girl was all I knew it was her birthday. Obviously the nice innocent girl I was, I thought it was extremely rude to go to a girl’s birthday that I didn’t know of. But once I got there I realized it wasn’t a problem at all. The more girls the better. At least for the boys. I got drunk with a few girls that were there. Guys kept coming to us and trying to get to know us. Some guys were obviously just not interested in me because when I tried to joke around with them they didn’t seem to care. At that time I just thought I wasn’t pretty enough for them to pay attention to me. I didn’t meet A until later. I first noticed him when we were kicked out of the penthouse. He was trying to start fights with some of the guys there. So a bunch of his boys decided to leave because they trying to stop the fight or they were involved in it. My girlfriend was close to those boys so we left with them and bounced to one of their homeboys house. The house was huge and there were no one in but a bunch of boys and us girls getting drunk and rowdy. One of the guys was really interested in me. He was a sweetheart. Got me water when I was really hammered and tried to take care of me. But A saw me and he somehow got me away from him. I don’t really remember how… but yeah we ended up talking and getting closer. I knew his type. I can read anyone really easy. I knew this guy was trying to fuck me but I didn’t really care. He was really cute, just my type actually, and he wasn’t a pussy. I liked guys that even if they were stupid if they had balls- is such a turn on. I don’t know maybe I’m messed up but I think it’s fucking sexy when a guy can knockout someone else if it’s for a good reason ;). Yeah me and A got closer. I remember him and his boy asking me and my gf if we wanted to dance- obviously meaning to grind! PERVS!! Haha I didn’t dance because I think it’s sleazy LOL but also because I didn’t know how to grind LOL… So embarrassing. I didn’t want to embarrass myself for the first time grinding with the cutest guy. So I just told them I didn’t dance.

I was always curious about who I was going to lose my first kiss to, who was going to be my first boyfriend, who was going to hold my hand first, who was going to make me feel loved first, who was I going to trust first, who I was going to lose my virginity to. I would always see my closest girlfriends all have their first boyfriends, hear their stories of their first kisses, hear stories of the romantic things their boyfriends did for them. I was always curious and wanted that. To talk about my boyfriend all day long and share the stories that they did with me. I never had it so I couldn’t relate to it. I remember the first time we would have girl talk and guessed the order who was going to have a boyfriend first, who was going to get married first, who was going most likely to get cheated on, who was going to have the most boyfriends/guys. Let’s just say I was never last. The funny thing I’m the last one even though if you met me you wouldn’t think I never had a boyfriend. The first thing guy’s say to me when they hear I never had a boyfriend? They question why. They say “why is a girl like you single”, “you’re so pretty I don’t get why you don’t have a boyfriend,” “REALLY? Never?!” . I’m not trying to sound cocky I’m really not LOL Guys obviously use lines like that to get a girl you know haha the only judgements I could trust were from girls that were GENUINELY honest. I’m not going to lie hearing “how can a girl like you never have a boyfriend” really feeds my ego LOL especially when it comes from a guy I think is really cute. I guess my confidence really increases and “gets bigger as you can say” when I have alot of guys all over me telling me I’m pretty and all this and that. Even when it was just words or just trying to get into my pants. I loved hearing it even though at times I knew better than that to believe it. I tell guys that try to get to know me “to never tell a girl you think she’s pretty, hot, sexy, cute because all that’s going to make them think is you’re a player.” I honestly think the best line to say is hey. Maybe that’s why I have trust issues? I don’t know. Anyway, back on topic. So who did I lose my first kiss to? A. He was younger than me by a year. A halfer and a good looking halfer haha. All the girls thought he was cute and trust me he got a lot of bitches. I remember first meeting him at a party I went to with my girlfriend. I was basically crashing this girl’s birthday I didn’t know who she was I just went cause my girlfriend brought me. Being young at that time I thought it was really rude to go to some girls birthday if you didn’t know them but nowadays no one really gives a shit as long as there’s enough girls for the guys. I think this was the first time I acted slutty actually. Well I got into the penthouse and there were a shitload of guys haha *excited!!* LOL joking. Okay I’m not joking I get excited when I’m around guys don’t know why and I get alot happy too. So weird. I was drinking with a few girls and the guys were drinking around us. I noticed none of the guys took “interest” in me. You know that vibe when a guy’s not that into you? Or they don’t care? Like that feeling. Girls you know that feeling you get when you know a guy’s interested in you or wants to know you or getting a little to nice. Two of those guys were doing that to me even when I jokingly flirted with them haha made my girlfriend laugh at least. But now I know why it was because they were both INLOVE with my girlfriend already from before haha. Well these other guys took notice of me playing drinking games with me and getting to know me. I wasn’t interested in these guys though they were nice and all but I wasn’t really feeling them. And then I see this one guy. I thought he was pretty cute but we didn’t talk in the party because he was always with his boys smoking and drinking near the porch. I don’t really remember this part because it was all a blur to me -obviously cause i was hammered. Somehow we got kicked out of the penthouse cause this guy was starting fights with some other guy so me and my girlfriend left with them because she was close with them. I just remembered him, A threatening this other guy and then we got cabbed to some other guy’s house. It was so rowdy. Non-stop drinking with just guys and me and my girlfriend. Guys were macking on us like crazy. One of the guys gave me water to sober up and he tried to get to know me, but A came out of nowhere and pulled me away from him and started talking to me.    My girlfriend had a guy and I had A. A was treating me like his girlfriend holding my hand, my waist, cuddling me. I remembered at one point they tried to get us to dance with them and i’m like HELL NO. in my head LOL cause I didn’t know how to grind and whatever so I didn’t want to embarrass myself LOL. We were still messing around and playing around and joking with eachother. The guys started to fight outside for fun and I was cheering for A. He sucked dick by the way. what a turn off hahah. After that me and my girlfriend cabbed with these guys to A’s place. A was already treating me like his girlfriend paying for my cab and making sure I felt alright. I knew he wanted to fuck me. I remember walking into his room the first thing when we got into his house and he went into the washroom to obviously put a condom on. I was freaking out at this point but I was drunk so I was calm. I was literally running up and down the stairs LOL looking for my girlfriend who was with her guy. I found her with her guy making out -_- so I went into another washroom. Obviously A was like wtf when he found out I wasn’t in the room anymore. My gf came into the washroom to find me. And I told her I knew A wanted to fuck me. She’s like do what you want to do. If you want to fuck him then fuck him if you don’t  then don’t. I decided I didn’t want to, so I didn’t. I went downstairs … I think. He came out and cuddled with me on the couch laying down. We were laughing at how  we could hear my gf and her guy going at it. I remember laying on his chest and hearing his heart beat and we weren’t talking at that time, but it felt really nice to just be silent at that time. That’s when he pulled a move on me and kissed me- french by the way. I remember not knowing wth to do LOL omg it’s so embarassing trying to remember these stories. He even asked me “is this your first kiss?” I shook my head no LOL Yeah it was. I’m not going to admit it. I’ll rather be considered a bad kisser than my first kiss. Yeah well I had alot of practice that night because I made out with him all night long hardcore and heavy. After we stopped making out I wanted to go see how my gf was so I checked up on her. So the guys went out for a smoke. We went back to the guys after and found them outside. I walked out and A wanted me to sit on his lap while he was smoking which I still think is still pretty cute but so slutty LOL but I mean when am I ever going to be with bad boys again so i did. I’m not going to lie being a slut is FUN. LOL you got to try it. After that I went back to my girlfriends to sleepover.

That’s how I lost my first kiss, first time holding hands, first time cuddling, first time drinking, first time being a slut, first time getting really horny, and my almost first time losing my v-card.

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